


A Time To Remember

by Hyrulehearts1123



Series: Midsummer's Children [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Panic Attacks, Psychic Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-28 10:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13901907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyrulehearts1123/pseuds/Hyrulehearts1123
Summary: Several weeks after the move to England, and meeting their new babysitter Layla, Gabriel noticed that Dean was growing more and more quiet. And that was saying quite a bit, considering that he had been incredibly quiet ever since being rescued from the man that had taken him and Castiel away, risking their lives by leaving them alone to die.It's drawing near to November 2nd, and it's time to start healing wounds that have plagued the children.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WORK HAS BEEN POSTED TO AO3, AND ONLY AO3. IF YOU FIND THIS WORK POSTED ANYWHERE ELSE, IT HAS BEEN STOLEN AND POSTED WIRHOUT THE AUTHOR'S PERMISSION.

Several weeks after the move to England, and meeting their new babysitter Layla, Gabriel noticed that Dean was growing more and more quiet. And that was saying quite a bit, considering that he had been incredibly quiet ever since being rescued from the man that had taken him and Castiel away, risking their lives by leaving them alone to die.

Sam also was quieter, but seemed more torn between confusion and concern for his older brother than for any particular reason of his own.

Gabriel watched all of his boys closely, searching for any hint of a clue as to what was causing Dean to be so depressed.

“Perhaps it has something to do with this time of year. Occasionally people find either joy or sorrow around the times when anniversaries come, depending on the nature of the anniversary.” Michael had suggested, and Raphael had nodded.

“It does appear that way. If possible, I would suggest looking into the boys’ past. There may be something there that you haven’t considered yet.” Looking over to where the boys were sitting in the living room floor, trying to help Adam keep his balance on his feet, Gabriel found himself smiling softly despite all his concerns.

The boys had been through so much over the years, and yet they still had so much hope for the future. Well, whenever the trials and traumas of life weren’t weighing them down so far that they couldn't cope that was. He knew that he would still have to find the answer to the question of what was bothering Dean to the point of near silence once more, but thinking back to a discussion that the pair had had months ago, back when Lucifer had first returned to Earth, he had an idea of what the problem was.

All he needed to do was find a way to help begin to heal the pain that losing a parent can bring.

 

* * *

 

 _“Dee, you wanna snack? Gabe says we can have some before we go out tonight.”_ Sammy’s soft projection echoed through his mind, but Dean just shook his head and watched Cas help Adam to his feet. The angel had his wings out, bringing them closer to Adam’s reaching hands.

He didn’t want a snack, or to play with Cas and Adam, or even to go trick-or-treating with Layla and Peter. He knew what he wanted, but he didn't know how to say it. And even if he did, he didnt know if he would be able to make himself say the words.

And how dumb was that? All it would take to get the smallest bit of help from either Lucifer or Gabriel was four little words, and he couldn't even start to say any of them! He could barely think them without being unable to talk for hours, and there was no use in trying to figure out other ways to get his message across when any thought concerning what was bothering him was enough to make him freeze.

He knew that his guardians knew that something was wrong, but whenever they asked him if something was bothering him he just shrugged and walked away instead of just telling them like a stupid baby would!

No, he was worse than a baby. Adam was a baby and didn't have any problems with letting anyone know when he wanted something, from food to a toy to snuggles or anything else that he'd ever wanted. But if he was worse than a baby, what did that make him?

But he couldn’t think about that now, everyone was looking at him and he didn’t know what to do and his words were all trapped now, not just the ones that he needed to tell Gabe, and it was getting harder to think, and he needed to get away and hide and try to think and calm down and just be alone for a few minutes until he was ok again.

Now he was walking towards the door to his room, but it felt wasn't him walking. Like someone else had taken over. And he really didn't care. He could think now, and that was good enough. He grabbed Poledra, his stuffed wolf, but the softness of her fur seemed to be muted. Almost as if he was losing touch with his own body. He could vaguely feel the anxiety and panic from earlier, but it felt far away, like he was watching someone else go through it.

There was someone in his room, but he couldn't bring himself to try and see who it was, or even what they wanted. He just stared at Poledra, trying to remember why he was supposed to be worried. Where there had been too many thoughts and too much noise, the was now silence, with only the occasional fragment of a thought drifting by before being lost once more. Someone was sitting next to him, pulling him into their lap, but none of it felt like it was real.

“-but I have seen this many times before, and know best how to handle it.”

A fragment of a voice floated in, and the world solidified for a moment before fading away back into the dim, muted place it had become. There was the faint sound of someone talking far away, but he couldn't bring himself to focus on it. He just continued to stare at Poledra and let the rest of the world drift away.

 

* * *

  


If any of his many siblings were to tell him that he would find himself upon earth, cradling his True Vessel in his arms while Raphael tried to calm Lucifer and Gabriel and explain what had occured downstairs, Michael would have sent them to the infirmary to ensure that they did not receive any head trauma on their latest mission.

And yet here he was, trying to draw the child out of his head, where he had retreated to in order to hide away from the stress and anxiety that he had been forced to endure. Samuel had said Dean would occasionally have such episodes after John would spend hours upon hours blaming him for whatever had happened on that particular day, but never quite to the point of being unresponsive as he was.

Michael had seen many a being in a similar state, merely going through the motions as if in a daze, or even just staring into nothingness as Dean was, but he had never seen such behaviors in one so young. The humans had a term for what Dean was going through, several terms in fact. Post-Traumatic Stress, Anxiety, Dissociation, the list kept growing by the day, sometimes by the hour. He had problems with eating before Sam finished, just one of the many issues that were left over from years without enough food to ensure that both he and his brother would be able to eat. Michael knew that such a situation was all too common on earth, but seeing the aftermath of one suffering through it, even for as short a time as the children had, made it all too real.

Dean was breathing a bit fast, evidence that his body was still trapped in an anxiety attack even though his mind had escaped the terror. Trying to draw Dean out from his own mind, he began talking quietly, keeping his tone even. “I will have you know that my brothers fought to try and comfort you, but I have seen this many times before, and know best how to handle it.”

Leaning back slightly on the bed, he ran his hand through the boy's hair, giving him a sensation to focus on. “They would have all charged in here, shouting as loud as they could to try and recapture your attention, but that is not what you need. No, you just need something gentle, something safe to focus on that you can trust not to harm you. That is why you came here, is it not? To hide away from the noise, and to have your protector near.”

Looking at the stuffed wolf that Dean was slowly, cautiously pulling closer to himself, Michael found himself smiling softly. “And what a fine protector she is. Poledra, that is her name, correct? And what a fine name it is. A fine name for a powerful being. One who shall watch over your sleep when we can't, and chase away all the dark thoughts that the night brings.” As he spoke, he set wards and enchantments upon the toy, ensuring that it would be able to do all that he was describing, regardless if if Dean was paying attention or not.

He knew the fate that had been so narrowly avoided for the boys. Had known since shortly after dealing with their father. And had he not met the children, and seen first hand how they had begun to transform his brother to who he had been before he took that thrice damned Mark, he would have forced their destinies back to what he believed tk be the only way. But no longer.

Dean was still his True Vessel, and Samuel was still Lucifer’s. Of that there was no doubt in his mind. But he would not take the child as his Vessel, not while he still lived, and be had no doubt that Lucifer would feel the same if he knew the truth.

But none of that was important now. He had an idea of what was causing Dean so much stress at the moment, and it would only take a moment to confirm his suspicions.

And if Gabriel was amiable, it would not take very long to begin to heal the heartache.

 

* * *

  


Gabriel couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner. If course Dean would miss his mother, it was only natural! She had been taken from him at such a young age, and in such a traumatic fashion, that it was to be expected that he would want his mother, especially around the anniversary of when she had been stolen away from him!

To give credit where it was due, Michael had been the one to confirm it, having left to discover the date of Mary Winchester’s death after passing Dean to Lucifer and instructing him to keep the kid in a quiet, stress free environment with lots of cuddles. But that wasn't the point, the point was that he should have realized what was up sooner.

And Lucifer had definitely found a stress free activity for them all to do. He and the boys were all in the master bedroom turned media room, watching a cartoon about a group of kids and their dog who went around trying to find ghosts, only for the ‘monster’ to be a greedy adult. It was a safe show for kids to watch, and would help to teach both Sam and Dean that sometimes the true monsters were human, and not ghosts or werewolves.

Not that Dean was really taking in all that much beyond the fact that he was safe, but hey, it was the thought that counted, right?

Raphael was sitting with them too, as Adam had grabbed onto the sleeve of his shirt and started chewing on it, and none of them had the heart to keep any of the boys away from each other. Gabriel wasn’t entirely how certain how much of the show his brother was understanding, but dear Father did his brothers look cute surrounded by kids.

Sammy was sitting next to Lucifer, holding the hand of Dean, who was in Lucifer’s lap, and idly sucking on his thumb, a habit Gabriel had noticed would happen on occasion whenever Sam would be fully relaxed, and completely trusted whoever was around him. It didn’t happen that often, but whenever it did, neither Gabriel and Lucifer made any attempt to stop him. If it was what he needed to feel safe, then they would let him.

Castiel was sitting on the other side of Lucifer, little wings fluttering in amusement at the antics of the characters on the show. He had recovered from the kidnapping rather quickly, but that was the nature of Fledglings. In Heaven they grew slowly, the lack of any true Time extending their childhood into a near eternity, but the moment they found their way to a place with Time, such as the earth, they would find themselves aging along with the Humans until they reached their physical peak, at which point they would cease aging if they were in a Vessel, or if they had been granted a form that was akin to a Human, like Cas had been.

As the characters of the show discovered who was behind the strange happenings, Gabriel stepped fully into the room, making to sit next to Sam. “You enjoying the show kiddo?” He asked quietly, smiling when Sam nodded.

The poor kid had been so quiet the past several days, so overwhelmed not only by Dean and his moodiness, but also at the constant care and attention given to them at all times, that he didn’t know what to do, and just stayed quiet to try and keep the attention off of him, which was part of his own leftover trauma from living with John for as long as he had.

Sam looked between Gabriel and Lucifer for a moment, before pulling away to snuggle into Gabriel’s side. _“Is Dee gonna be ok? I’m ok with not going out tonight if Dee doesn’t wanna.”_

Gabriel’s heart broke all over again for everything that the boys had gone through over the years. “Oh kiddo, of course Dean is gonna be ok! He’s just having a difficult time dealing with things.”

Sam looked conflicted, but was otherwise silent once more, turning his focus back to the tv. But it was easy to see that the boy was tense, even if one couldn't feel his power building in unease.

“Sam, why don't you tell Gabriel about the show? He only just got here, and I do not believe that he has ever watched it before.” once again, big brother was saving the day as Lucifer spoke up, drawing sam out of his thoughts better than Gabriel could've ever hoped to on such short notice.

With a nod of thanks to his brother, he settled in, and listened to Sam babble away about the cartoon.

 

* * *

  


Michael knew that a day had passed since he had left, and morning was dawning on the second day of his absence, but he had good reason to remain gone as long as he had.

His plans were all falling into place, and so long as Father Himself did not return to stop him, he was certain that he would be able to help heal even a small portion of the trauma that Dean had been through.

And as he held open the door for the one that he had fought to be able to have visit for the day, he was almost proud of himself for being able to execute such a plan in as short a time as he did.

“Michael, is that you? You have great timing, the boys will be waking up soon, and Dean was asking about you yesterday, so dont think for a moment that you can get out of-” Gabriel's rant cut off as he turned around from his position in the kitchen, standing in the walkway with a look of awe on his face. “Isn't that-”

Michael smiled, leading his guest deeper into the house with a gentle hand upon their back. “It is. I'm sorry it took so long, but I do not believe that they will mind too much once they come down.”

Gabriel laughed, grinning like the Fledgling he hadn't been for untold millennia. “Heck yeah they won't mind! They're gonna flip! Well, not Cassie or Adam, but the other two are gonna love it. I promise.” He then turned back to the kitchen, racing to finish breakfast as quickly as he could.

“It should not be long now,” he whispered, leaning to allow his guest to hear. “I believe my brothers have gone to wake them, and while some can be more stubborn than others, they typically do not cause much of a struggle.”

True enough to his words, moments after he finished speaking the stairs creaked softly under the weight of one of the children. He watched his guest stare at Sam as the boy came down, his stuffed dog Bernard held tightly to his chest and blocking his view if Michael and his guest.

He shook his head slightly, intercepting Sam and picking him up when we was in reach, carrying him over to where his guest was standing. “Samuel, there's someone here to see you. Do you think you can say hello, or are you still too tired?” He asked, scratching Sam's back gently as he buried his face in his neck.

_“Tired. Wanna sleep.”_

Michael's guest jumped at the quiet voice that echoed around the house, but relaxed slightly at his laugh. “Are you certain little one? She will be here all day, but I would think that she would want to spend as much time with you as possible.” Turning to face her, he continued. “Perhaps you should introduce yourself to him. He must not have slept well, but we may be able to chase away the tiredness for a moment.”

She nodded, reaching out to run a gentle hand through Sam's hair. “Sammy? Goodness, you grew so big! The last time….. The last time I saw you, you were so small. I think you might be bigger than your brother was at this age!”

Sam gazed at her for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly in confusion. _“You knew me when I was younger?”_

She laughed a bit there, fighting back tears as she nodded. “I did. Sammy, I'm-”

“MOMMA?!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short today, but no less painful, and holding slight hints towards things to come, if you can spot them.
> 
>  
> 
> Huge thanks to @talkingtomyselfagain AKA UmbraeCalamitas for being my beta for this chapter! It really wouldn't be the same without you (nor would the comments of the doc!)

Dean woke to the sound of Lucifer whispering to Cas as Sammy crawled out of bed, probably wandering off in search of Gabe. He really didn't wanna get out of bed, but he knew he would have to at some point. Sam would want to play with him, Cas would want to watch a movie, or something would come up, forcing him to pretend he was ok. And yeah, Gabe and Luci didn't get onto him for not being ok all the time like his dad did, but all too often adults only had so much they were willing to put up with, and he'd really rather not discover any of their limits.

So against all of his wishes and desires, he pushed himself up and out of the bed. He ignored Luci’s gentle gaze, and Cas’ question about what was wrong. He just wanted to get through the day without anything happening to make the day worse.

Upon leaving the room, he heard Michael talking quietly downstairs, somewhat relieved that he had returned. Michael didn’t try to force him to talk if he didn’t want to, especially when it came to either his Momma or Dad. Not that Gabe or Luci were really pushy either, but they were constantly saying things like ‘We’re here if you want to talk,’ ‘You can tell us anything,’ ‘I just want to help,’ and other things like that, and he was tired of it.

He wasn’t able to say what would be needed, didn’t know the words for some of it, couldn’t say the rest, and neither Gabe nor Luci seemed to understand. They had been so cool over the summer as he was starting to understand what his dad had done to him and Sam over the years, what he would've likely done to Adam had he had the chance, but ever since he and Cas had been taken by a hunting buddy of his dad’s, neither of the pair had let them out of their sight for too long, barely giving Dean enough time to just sit by himself and think.

But Michael had been different. He would let Dean control the conversation, never pushing for information on anything he was uncomfortable with. He called what happened during their time together ‘a respite for his mind’, but who knows what that was supposed to mean.

As he started down the stairs, what Michael was saying began to come through clearer.  “Perhaps you should introduce yourself to him. He must not have slept well, but we may be able to chase away the tiredness for a moment.”

That was weird. Had Michael brought someone to visit them? But who would he bring? All of the angels had been super careful about bringing anyone the boys didn’t already know anywhere near the house, let alone into the house, so who could it be?

But the moment he heard the voice of the person as they began to talk, he froze, moments away from reaching the bottom of the stairs. He turned to face the figures in the entryway, eyes wide as his breathing began to speed up.

Standing in the middle of the hall, running a hand through Sammy’s hair, was a woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a painfully familiar smile. He knew exactly who she was. It didn’t matter how long it had been since he had last seen her, or how many times his father had nearly hit him whenever he would bring her up, he would still always be able to recognize her on sight.

He had no way to know if she was really there, or if she was an illusion, but he couldn’t stop himself from calling out. “MOMMA?!”

She turned to face him at his outburst, and he felt tears begin to fall as she gasped. She slowly walked to the bottom of the stairs, never escaping Dean's vision as she placed a hand on his cheek. She was warm, and soft, and exactly the way he remembered her but even better.

“Hi, baby,” she started, her voice thick with emotion. “I missed you so much these past few years. You did such a good job raising Sammy and Adam for as long as you did, and I'm so proud of you!”

Dean started to cry harder. There was no way this could be real. His mom would have no way of knowing that he had to raise himself and Sammy, or even knowing that Adam existed. She was just an illusion, and he didn't know if he would be able to handle it when the joke was finished.

He didn't fight it as he was pulled into a hug by someone or when he was carried away from the stairs and taken to the couch in the living room, leaning against someone's chest as they sat down. He heard Michael talking quietly and Sammy was somewhere close by, but that was about as far as anything went.

This wasn't like the other day when everything was muted and far away. Today everything was too loud and too close and too much for him to handle and all he could do was cry and hope he would still be able to breathe by the end of it.

“It has been a rough several days for him. There is undeniable evidence that John would become more agitated towards the boys around this time, and would even become aggressive. While there were no clear signs of physical abuse on any of the children, there is already far too much damage that has been done,” Michael was saying from somewhere nearby, and whoever he was laying against took a shuddering breath, shaking him slightly.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to help you.”

If more was said, Dean didn't hear it. He just clung to the shirt of whoever was holding him, hoping against all hope that he wouldn't have to explain to Sammy that whatever was in their house wasn't really their mom.

 

* * *

 

There was not a great deal that could cause Michael doubt, be it in himself or in his Father's Plan.

Any questions regarding a plan that he had made were brought forth quickly and efficiently, and explanations were given just as soon. Questions regarding Father's Will and Plan were brought up in private, and though he had no way of knowing for certain his Father's Will, he had always tried his hardest to reassure his siblings that they were doing the right things and that Father would be proud of them.

And yet, with the revelation that his True Vessel was merely a child, and a severely traumatized one at that, he found that he was not only questioning his own actions leading to this point, but the actions of his Father as well.

Without Gabriel's interference, as well as the actions of whoever had freed Lucifer, he would not have known his Vessel was upon the Earth until he had reached adulthood, by which point everyone would have been preparing for the war against Lucifer and his forces. 

But even then, Gabriel would not have known either had John Winchester not sought out a trade that not even demons would be willing to make. The life of a child for a life ended. Just the thought of it was horrifying, and yet it had been that very deal that led to Michael having his siblings back.

It hadn't been worth it. If such suffering could only be mended by having others suffer instead, then he would have prefered that he suffer for their happiness. But if the children's suffering had been unavoidable, or even part of Father's plan? What could he possibly hope to do? He was not Gabriel or Lucifer, who so easily followed their own paths, he was the good son.

Or, he had been, at one point in time.

Now, he was more likely to yell at his Father should he ever see him again than to listen and obey. He had allegiance to his brothers, the children they had taken in, and that was it. No more would he mindlessly bend to the whims of a father who didn’t even care enough to tell his children what he wished of them, instead leaving them to attempt to decipher vague instructions given in anger at a rebellious child that wished only to speak his mind.

There was a tugging at the hem of his shirt then, and he looked down to see Castiel. The small Fledgling was holding onto Michael’s shirt loosely, gaze constantly shifting between the Archangel and the couch, where Mary was telling Dean and Sam stories of their life before her death.

Bending down, Michael swiftly lifted Castiel into his arms, chuckling gently at the Fledgling’s gasp. “Yes, Little One? Do you have something you wish to know, or are you merely seeking affection?” He was more than willing to give the young one whatever he desired, so long as he asked. There was far too much time that had been lost, time that had led the poor youngling to believe that he was unloved by the host, when that could not be further from the truth.

Castiel looked hesitant, gripping the collar of Michael’s shirt and avoiding his gaze for several long moments. “This is real, right? You’re not just creating an illusion to make them feel better or making them think that some other Angel is their mother? Because if you are, I’m gonna be real mad.” The last part of his sentence was mumbled, which only made the threat that much cuter.

And that brought him to the crux of the matter. There was only so long he could go before he would need to inform the children, but there was time enough for them.

“I assure you, Mary Winchester is as real within this home as you and I. I was able to bring her to visit for the day, and hoped that they would be able to begin to heal from the pain her loss has caused.”

Cas rested his head on Michael’s shoulder, looking at the small family in the other room. “They know she’s only here for the day, right? It’s not gonna surprise them or anything when she has to leave?”

Michael sighed, rubbing Castiel’s back gently. “Not yet. I will tell them before tonight though, so it does not come as a shock to them. But this moment does not need to be sullied by the pain of separation.” After a moment, he began to walk up the stairs, leaving the small family to themselves for a time. “Come now. I believe I heard Lucifer talking about wanting to groom those wings of yours. You are fast approaching your first molt and we need to get you ready.”

Castiel whined then, burying his head deeper into Michael’s neck, trembling softly. “Don’t wanna, Luci said molting was itchy, and I don’t wanna be itchy. And they all said it would hurt.”

With a disturbed frown, Michael paused for a moment to try and find the words he would need, before beginning to pat Castiel’s back, right between where his wings manifested in the physical realm. “No one particularly enjoys their molts, but it has never caused anyone pain, Dear One. Merely a bit of itching as the new feathers grow in. Who told you it would hurt?”

There was a tenseness in Castiel at his words, though he gave no indication of the cause of his nervousness. After a moment, Michael began to grow concerned. Why would anyone tell a Fledgling to be afraid of their own biology? “Dear one, please, I need to know who told you such things. They are not only incorrect but damaging claims, and need to be stopped.” The Fledgling was trembling still, but otherwise unresponsive as his Grace flashed dimly in his eyes. More concerned than ever, Michael moved his hand from Castiel’s back to the child’s head, hoping to be able to get even a glimpse inside his mind to get some idea of what was going on.

There was nothing.

The darkness of Voids within Time were all that was to be seen, along with whispers of words. Whether the words were warnings, threats, or for comfort was entirely unclear. But what was clear was the fact that something was not right.

“What happened here? You were only on your own upon the earth for scant moments before being taken to Gabriel, and before then…..”

He was in Heaven. 

He needed to talk with all of his brothers as soon as possible. But Raphael was tied up in trying to discover what had led to the vanishing of numerous Angels, before Michael would be able to begin investigating. He would need to be discreet, and possibly begin digging into Castiel's past by himself first.

Voids in memory did not occur on their own, especially in Angels. There was something at work to harm Castiel, or there had been in the past, and they had made certain to cover their trails well. But Michael would find those responsible for harming the Fledgling, even if it meant tearing Heaven apart piece by piece.

 

* * *

 

Dean was crying, Again. And this time, Sam wasn’t far behind him.

They had just gotten their mom back, but she had to go again!

Michael had warned them it was only for the day at lunch, but that didn’t mean they were anywhere near ready to say goodbye when it was time for them to go to sleep!  _ “Why can’t you just stay here with us? Do you really have to go?” _ He asked, clutching his moose Sully to his chest tightly as he pouted. He had only just met his Momma, he didn’t want her to leave! It wasn’t fair!

His mom sighed, running a hand through his hair, and Sam leaned into her touch. “I’m sorry baby, but I need to go back to Heaven. I don’t fully belong down here anymore.” Sam watched her as she spoke, trying his hardest to memorize her face before it would be too late.

Dean wasn’t even able to look at their mom, his face buried into the fur of his stuffed wolf as he sobbed, rejecting any ounce of comfort from anyone but his plush. Whenever Cas, Michael, or their Mom would try to reach over and comfort him, he would back further into the corner next to the bed, growing more and more upset every time.

And Sam? Sam was just tired. Tired of everything falling apart, tired of good things only lasting for a little while before they were torn away again, and ultimately just tired of everything. All he wanted was to sleep and pretend today never happened. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt anymore.

He turned away from them then, trying to hold back his tears as he laid down. He knew what Michael had wanted to do by bringing their mom to visit, he really did. But none of his good intentions were worth the pain they had caused upon her departure.

There was a soft sigh, before Michael was speaking softly. “I can see that neither of us are quite welcome here at this point. Come, I have an idea that may make things slightly easier.”

As both Michael and their mother left, Sam scooted closer to Dean, until he was leaning against him. Reaching out with his powers, he slowly lost control of his tears at the overwhelming emotions that were flooding through Dean. There was none of his usual stubbornness, his sarcasm, or even any of his softness towards Sam and Cas and Adam. There was just anger and confusion. Sam fought to calm himself, knowing that there was no way that he would be able to help Dean if his own emotions were out of control.

But he just couldn’t calm down.

The massive flood of negative emotion was overtaking him, and he was quickly getting lost in it. In the past, he had been able to fight through Dean's chaos without any problems, but he had been around him all the time, and Dean was almost always upset about something. Now, Dean wasn't having to worry about their basic survival anymore, like if they all would be able to eat that week, or if he had enough diapers for Adam that day, so his chaos had settled into a cautious peace. Sam wasn't used to having to keep his brother ok anymore, and if it didn't get better soon, his powers might burn out without anyone noticing what happened.

Right as he thought he thought he was going to be lost, small hands, barely bigger than his own, pulled him close, and a surge of strength rushed through him.

Sam felt like he had just jumped into a pool in the middle of the summer, when the water was cool, but not to the point where it was cold. It was refreshing, and within moments he felt more awake, more aware of everything around him the way he was when he would train with Luci.

“I can't help you with what you must do, but I can give you the strength you lack.”

With the new burst of energy aiding him, he finally was able to break through the chaos, sending pulse after pulse of love and affection to counter the hurt and uncertainty. After so long, Dean was finally calming, falling asleep from all the energy spent trying to process the hurt.

He was really tired too. Helping Dean was always hard, even if he had help. He wanted to thank whoever had helped him, but his head was getting all fuzzy and he wasn't even sure if anyone had helped him at all at this point, or if it was safe to sleep. It hadn't been safe before, so there was no way of knowing if it would be safe now.

“Sleep Sammy. You did a good job with him, and you deserve your rest.”

That was Cas! That probably meant it was ok to sleep. After all, Mikey and Luci and Gabe never really let Cas go too far away, so they were probably close, and nothing would try to get anywhere near them. So it was safe to just close his eyes and fall into that place where reality faded, and anything imagined came to life, and let the worries of the day be left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me where the energy to write this so fast came from, I don't know either.
> 
> Anyway, huge thanks to @talkingtomyselfagain for being a fantastic beta! Not gonna lie, you sold your soul to keep being my beta. It's in the contract.
> 
> But enough joking around. This is the last chapter of this part, and large portions of it wouldn't be here if it weren't for the help of the entire Discord Crew screaming and letting me torment them with all the ideas for this series. Proper tags will be added either tomorrow or the day after. Idk, its midnight and I'm tired. I'll figure it out later.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy, this is the last fluff you'll see for a while.

The morning of November third was the same as any other for many children. They would wake up, eat their breakfast with their parents, and if they were old enough, get dressed and go to school, or perhaps even a daycare. They would go about their day in peace, and when it would come time to go to bed that evening, they would smile, and wait for the new day to begin things anew.

Such was not true for the Winchester boys.

They both woke late, staying in their pyjamas as they descended the stairs hand in hand, already feeling a hole that their mother had filled ever so gently the day before.

Both of them were quiet as they ate, though due to their grief, or from a desire to not upset anyone, their guardians had no way of knowing. The only one who was anywhere near cheerful upon that somber morning was Adam, though even his usual cheer was somewhat muted.

After what had been nearly the most awkward meal since Gabriel had taken in the boys, Sam and Dean had went back to their room, playing quietly with their stuffed animals on the bed as they tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. 

Lucifer watched the boys as they played, horrified at the damage that had been done to them due to Michael’s little experiment yesterday.

Before yesterday, the boys had been acting almost like normal boys, playing and laughing without fear of what would happen if they were loud. They would spread their toys out along the floor of the living room, creating entire cities at a time out of everything from legos to the various furniture they dragged in, and acting out the everyday lives of all those who lived in the cities before smashing them to pieces, knowing that neither Gabriel or Lucifer would allow and of their games to be ruined due to missing blocks.

But ever since Michael had sought to be part of the boys’ lives for whatever reason he may have had, they had not only been quieter, but seemed almost hesitant to play as they did before. Perhaps that could simply be attributed to their not knowing how he would react should they act out, but to see them set so far back by their mother’s visit was disturbing.

And to be entirely honest, the whole idea of bringing their mother to visit was nearly more idiotic than the idea that had led to the creation of the Blobfish. It was the type of thing that sounded alright in your head, sounded bad once it was put on paper, and was the worst thing to happen once put into practice.

All that bringing Mary back for the day had done was stir up trauma that was beginning to heal on its own. Yes, Dean had been upset the past several days due to the memory of his mother’s passing. But to be sad at a loved one’s passing was natural, and now that he was allowed to show his emotions in ways that were healthy, Dean could have finally had the opportunity to heal and move on.

But now, there was no way of telling how long it would take Dean to recover from the reminder of all that he had lost, and Sam!

The poor boy had arguably been somewhat emotionally stable, if only because he had no memory of losing his mother. Now he had to deal with the trauma the same as Dean, and was almost worse off for it, because at least Dean was old enough to begin developing the coping strategies that were necessary to deal with such pain.

Looking at the boys one last time, he walked away silently. Watching them in such a sedate state was just too painful, especially when he knew just how lively and energetic they could be.

Upon entering the kitchen, where Gabriel was feeding Adam with the assistance of Castiel, it was clear that everyone was feeling the same as him. Castiel was near silent, only making enough noise to confirm he was still listening to whatever Gabriel was telling him, which wasn't even that much.

“Now, he can generally feed himself things like fruit and cereal, but you still want to keep an eye on things to make sure he doesn't choke,” Gabriel was explaining, and Castiel merely nodded slightly before pushing a piece of mango back into Adam's reach, the fabric of his coat reaching over his fingers, getting the juice on the garment. Gabriel looked from Castiel to Lucifer, before sighing. “I've tried everything I can think of to try and get the boys to talk to me, but nothing's worked. Even Sammy has himself locked into a one way with Dean, and I'm not going to try and intrude on that.” 

Lucifer sighed, kneeling to be closer to Castiel's height. “Hey kiddo. You want to help me with something? I have an idea of how to help, but I want you to help me with it.”

Castiel looked confused, before looking back to help Adam reach another piece of the fruit that he had knocked out of his reach. “-guess so.” He mumbled, before reaching towards Gabriel with the hand he had been pushing fruit towards Adam with. “Dirty.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, but cleaned the coat of any juice it may have had on it, making it fit properly as well. “There. That should keep it from getting dirty like that for a bit.” He joked, before shaking his head with an exasperated smile as a soft flash of Grace made the coat bigger once more.

With a soft smile, Lucifer shook his head at Gabriel.  _ “Leave him be, Brother. If he wishes for the coat to be larger than you wish it, than there will be no force upon Heaven or Earth that can prevent it.” _ Turning back to Castiel, he placed a hand on his shoulder to gain his attention. “If you are ready, we can leave.”

Castiel was quiet for another moment before standing up, clinging to the hem of Lucifer's shirt. When it became clear that the Fledgling was not going to say anything else on the matter, Lucifer nodded. Sending a quick glance towards Gabriel, he promised silently to explain later, before leaning to press a gentle kiss to the top of Adam's head. “We will return soon.”

With his promises and plans set firmly in place, he pulled Castiel close and flew away from the home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Flight was strange. It wasn't like how the birds flew from tree to tree, or eagles soaring high up with the clouds. It was hard to describe, even for Castiel. He guessed it was almost like what humans thought teleportation was, with the Angel being in one place in one moment in time, and another place in a few more moments in time. He knew that it was likely far more complex than that, but because he didn't know exactly how it worked, it was a good enough explanation for the time being.

He pulled away from Lucifer, looking around the new area with confusion. They were standing outside what appeared to be some sort of farm, with wide open grassy areas, plenty of sunlight, and dozens of people, all training and playing with puppies!

With a delighted gasp, he grabbed Lucifer’s shirt and tugged, willing his caretaker to let him play with the puppies that were so tantalizingly close, yet so far out of his reach. He could see their fur waving in the wind as they moved, and they looked so soft and fluffy and happy and-

“Calm down munchkin, there’s plenty of time to play with them, but we’ve got an appointment to keep first. You’ll be able to play with them soon, I promise.”

There was just so many of them, all different kinds and sizes and colors, and they were all so friendly and excited and ready to play and he just wanted to pet them all and-

“Hi there! You must be the 2 o’clock appointment for an assistance dog. I’m Jessica. I’m going to be showing you around and helping you find the right dog. Before we begin, are you looking for anything specific in your helper? Or do you want to see what all the dogs can do and make a decision based off of that?”

He could see at least ten different types of dogs just out in the field. They were playing with other people and super well behaved and looked really nice and soft and fluffy and ready to play, and he just really wanted to pet them all and play with them all.

A hand on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts and he startled back into focus on Lucifer and the new person. “Well, we’re looking to find someone who can help with issues along the lines of PTSD, anxiety, and minor depressive episodes. My brother recently adopted three boys who come from an incredibly rough background. I’m hoping that a dog will not only help them open up, but be able to aid my brother and I to know better how to help them.”

The woman was really pretty, with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and she had a smile and just looked really nice. “And is this one of the boys here?” she asked, kneeling down to be about eye level with Castiel.

He frowned softly, burying his face in Lucifer’s pants with a slight whine. “No, this is our baby brother, Castiel. He’s starting to have his own issues, but we’re not entirely certain as to the extent, largely because we aren’t certain what all rests in his past.”

“That’s alright. We have multiple assistance dogs that have the ability to handle a variety of issues of all sorts. We can start by looking at the dogs that are equipped to assist with the issues you brought up first, and we can see if any of them take a liking to Castiel here.”

A hand brushed through Castiel’s hair, before Lucifer moved away for a moment, causing Castiel to whine. “That would be fantastic. Come on, Castiel, we’re going to go look at the dogs now and see if one of them wants to play with you.” Castiel really wanted to play with the puppies, and really hoped that he would be able to find one that wanted to play with him too.

“Well, if you’re ready, we can go ahead and begin our tour.” The woman started walking into the building closest to them, Lucifer following her, and Castiel walking a little behind. “So, as I mentioned, we train our dogs to assist with nearly every disability and hardship, from being able to aid with PTSD and anxiety attacks, to Epilepsy and Diabetes. Often, the dogs are capable of detecting certain things far before humans are. Epilepsy Dogs can detect when seizures are coming several minutes beforehand, enabling the sufferer to get to an area where they can have the seizure safely, and dogs that help with Diabetes can help monitor the level of Insulin, enabling the person to keep themselves healthy should their blood sugar take a sudden rise or drop.”

She kept explaining more, but Castiel wasn’t listening. He ran his fingers along the sides of the dog crates as he passed them, smiling at the puppies as he saw them. Big puppies, little puppies, brown, white, black, spotted, multi-colored, there were just so many of them and he wanted to pet them all and play with them, and maybe take one home to meet Dean and Sam.

“Cas, come this way, kiddo. We’re walking this way now.”

Lucifer was waiting in the opening of a hallway, looking at him with a patient smile on his face. After another moment of looking around the room at all the puppies, Castiel walked over to where Lucifer was standing, grabbing onto his pants again as they began following the woman again.

“Over this way is where we have the dogs trained to aid those with PTSD and Anxiety, though a few of them also have training with other areas. What I wanted to do was bring you both to meet each of the dogs one at a time and see if we can find a good fit.” The woman was talking again, grabbing a clipboard from a nearby desk. “Are there any other specifications you want to be sure of? Sociable with pets, smaller for small homes, capable of taking care of tasks around the home? Anything like that?” she asked, and Lucifer started talking with her.

Not really interested in whatever they were talking about, Castiel started wandering away from Lucifer, even though he knew he was supposed to stay close. There were enclosures with gates, and each of the enclosures had a puppy inside. They were all looking at him with a mix of curiosity and confusion, but none of them were right. Once he really got the chance to look at them, they were too big, not big enough, too fluffy, not fluffy enough, not friendly looking enough, not nice enough, just not right.

He kept walking up and down the hall, marking off a mental list of all the qualities that made each and every dog not good enough. 

But there was one enclosure that fascinated him, one that he paused at for a little longer every time he cycled through the hall. A large, fluffy white dog with piercing blue eyes was laying in the corner, regarding him with a rather serious gaze. With a quick glance back towards Lucifer that lasted no more than an instant, he reached up and opened the latch on the gate, stepping into the enclosure silently.

He reached out to touch the puppy, somewhat startled at the strange texture of the white fur compared to how it looked like it should feel. But the puppy stayed still and after another moment of consideration, Castiel decided he liked the feeling, stroking the puppy’s face and ears gently.

“There you are. Have you found a dog you like?” Lucifer was leaning against the gate of the enclosure, smiling gently as he watched Castiel pet the puppy.

Castiel nodded, turning back to face the puppy again. “‘s soft,” he whispered, almost transfixed by the texture of the fur, as well as the color peeking between his fingers and the quiet way that the puppy breathed and watched him. It was a little longer before the puppy moved for the first time, sitting up slowly with its head tilted, matching how Castiel was watching it.

Lucifer was talking quietly again, to the woman this time. “I believe this one over here has caught Castiel’s attention rather firmly. Can you tell me a bit more about him?”

There was the sound of rustling paper, and the woman spoke up again. “I have his training list here, and his qualifications. His name is Sigurd, and beyond the PTSD and Anxiety training every dog in this hall has, he is fully capable of aiding those on the Autism Spectrum, and those that show traits of being on that Spectrum.”

There was a sigh from Lucifer then, and he said something else, but Castiel wasn’t paying much attention anymore. The puppy was moving closer, and put his head on Castiel’s shoulder, almost shocking him with the pressure that the puppy was placing on him. It felt really good, almost like he was getting a hug from the puppy. It was perfect, and he quickly wrapped his arms around the puppy, smiling and humming happily as he patted the dog’s back gently.

“Luci, I wanna keep him,” Castiel whispered, humming some more as the puppy started thumping the ground with his tail in time with the pats. “Can we keep him, Luci? I wanna let Sammy and Dean meet him too.”

There were more words between Lucifer and the woman, before the gate to the enclosure opened again and Lucifer was kneeling beside him. “Well, it looks like you two are getting along well, so I don’t have a problem with it. You really think that Sigurd here is going to help you and the others?” The question hung in the air for a while, and Castiel found himself nodding. He already felt like he could think a little clearer since the puppy put his head on his shoulder, and everything about it just felt right in ways that not a lot of other things did anymore. “Alright. Jessica, I believe we have found the right fit for us at this point in time.”

Castiel smiled and started humming again. He really liked this puppy, and he just knew that the puppy would be able to help Dean and Sam with all the problems that had been left as a result of how their father had raised them. But he didn’t want to think about that at this point. Right now, he was happy enough to sit and hug and pat the puppy. Everything else would fall into place soon enough, and Dean and Sam would start recovering from the problems that had been left in their father’s wake.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It was late evening by the time Gabriel was starting to get desperate. Lucifer and Castiel had left around lunchtime, and now it was almost time for the boys to go to bed. He hoped that they would be back soon, so he wouldn’t be forced to try and get them to bed on his own.

Setting Adam in his cot in the master bedroom, Gabriel was glad that at least one member of the family was able to sleep peacefully that evening. The child was growing swiftly, and finally at a healthy weight for his age and size, and though parts of his development had been stunted, he was starting to make it into the more common ranges when things could start happening. Like his learning how to walk, or how his babbles were slowly shifting into sounds more recognizable as attempts at speaking. His sounds weren’t quite understandable as words yet, but fairly soon they would need to pick one to be known as his first word.

Secretly, he hoped it would be ‘no’, if only so he could watch the kid give Luce the same amount of grief he gave everyone else.

Running a hand through his hair, Gabriel sighed as he laid back on the luxurious memory foam bed, trying his hardest to collect his thoughts before he would go to face Sam and Dean. He just wasn’t sure how to help them anymore and he hoped that whatever Lucifer was planning would go over better than Michael’s surprise.

As he stayed where he was and breathed, though, he could hearsaid brother downstairs once more. But why were there three beings in the kitchen instead of just two?

_ “Gabriel, gather Dean and Sam, and come downstairs. We have something for them.” _ Lucifer’s Voice echoed through his Grace and Gabriel rolled his eyes. Of course he wouldn’t tell him whatever he was planning beforehand.

Probably payback for the Blobfish Incident. Fair enough.

After a final check to ensure that Adam would be alright by himself for the time being, Gabriel activated the warding around the cot and left the room.

It didn't take long for him to make it to the room that Sam and Dean shared, but it still broke his heart at just how much they were hurting.

Dean was already in his pyjamas and was helping Sam into his own . It was pretty clear to see that they had somehow managed to get their baths without him noticing and were about to put themselves to bed.

Entering the room slowly, he sat on the floor a little bit away from them, giving them both plenty of space. Once he was sure that they weren’t going to try and bolt, he figured he had time to ask a few questions. “So, what’s with the silent treatment today? I’m not mad at you guys and neither is Luci. We just want to help, and we’re not entirely sure how.” Several moments passed in silence, Dean fiddling with Sam’s pyjamas, making sure they were just so, meeting some invisible guideline that only he knew.

Finally, he spoke quietly. “Dad doesn’t like it when we’re loud. Doesn’t like it when we take up too much space. Doesn’t like it when we need help with basic things, or when we’re messy. Have to be quiet, tidy, and not ask a lot of questions. He can’t know that Sammy still talks with his head and not his mouth. Can’t know that I still need his help, or that I can’t take care of Sammy, or he’ll take Sammy away again.”

With every word, Gabriel grew more and more horrified. He knew that there were things in the boys’ past that they didn’t know about. He knew there was a reason why Dean never let Sam stray too far from his sight, even before the kidnapping incident with Walker. But regardless of what Gabriel was feeling, he had to get to the bottom of what Dean was talking about. Where would John have taken Sam that had scared Dean so bad?

A quick brush against Sam’s powers with his Grace told Gabriel most of what he needed to know about how to approach the situation. Dean was clearly still shaken after the day before, and not sure what to do, had defaulted back to how he had needed to act when they were still living with John, to the point where he almost expected John to come out from behind a corner where he had been hiding at any minute.

With a soft smile on his face, Gabriel slowly reached out and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder, trying his hardest not to show any signs of the horror he felt when he saw the manic look in Dean’s eyes. “Hey kiddo, why don’t we go down to the kitchen and say goodnight to Lucifer? He said he wanted to show you two something, so we can go see it and maybe get a snack before bed, ok?”

Dean watched him for a while, before shaking his head. “Can’t, gotta get to bed or Dad’ll be mad, and when he gets mad he drinks, and when he drinks bad things happen, so I can’t make him mad.”

Gabriel’s heart was breaking into smaller and smaller pieces with every word Dean was saying. “It’ll be ok Dean, I promise-”

“No!” Dean shouted, startling Gabriel and causing Sam to back away a few steps. “You don’t know! You weren’t there! It’s not going to be ok! It's not alright! We need to do what Dad says or-”

He was cut off by the sound of the door to the room opening wider, allowing entrance to an out of breath Castiel and… a dog?

A white, fluffy, nearly grown Samoyed wearing a blue vest padded into the room slowly, quiet enough that it didn’t startle Dean, though Sam was looking at it with wide eyes.

It walked towards Dean, who had fallen to his knees, pulling at his hair. To Gabriel’s astonishment, the dog started nosing at Dean’s hands, gently coaxing them away from his hair, until the boy was running his hands through the dog’s fur instead of harming himself.

Castiel came to stand next to Gabriel, head tilted slightly as he started chewing lightly on the sleeve of his coat, before mumbling around the fabric. “His name’s Sigurd and Luci says that he’s able to help Sam and Dean and me, because he’s a trained Assistance Dog and he’s super soft and fluffy and I like him.”

Gabriel nodded, not failing to notice how strange Castiel had been acting all day. “An assistance dog huh? And did you find him or did he find you?” He didn’t know a lot about assistance dogs, but he did know that the selection process was usually complex.

Castiel started explaining excitedly about his afternoon with Lucifer, babbling on about the different types of dogs he had seen at the center. How all of them were good dogs, but only Sigurd was the right dog for them. “None of them were right, and Siggy was perfect and he’s already been really good, because he’s got Dean to calm down and Sammy looks really comfy and I think it might be time for bed.”

Looking back at the boys, Gabriel smiled. Dean was laying down now, still stroking Sigurd’s face gently, and Sam had fallen asleep using the dog’s belly as a pillow. Knowing that it was for the best to leave the boys where they were so they could properly bond with Sigurd, he slowly stood up and gently guided Castiel out of the room. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s leave them alone for now. I’ve got a few recipes I want to test out before the holidays and I need you to help me. Sound like a plan?” Castiel nodded softly, grabbing the bottom of Gabriel’s shirt as the pair started walking through the rest of the house to the kitchen.

Obviously, the introduction of the assistance dog wasn’t going to make things better overnight. There was still plenty of trauma between Sam and Dean, and whatever other problems Castiel had in the past that he hadn’t shared up to that point, but Gabriel was at least a little more confident that he and Lucifer would be able to handle the issues as they came up. And if the dog made things even a little bit better, that alone would be enough of a win in his books. They just needed to be patient with the boys and keep trying what they had been so far. Things had been improving before and he wasn’t about to let his assbutt of an oldest brother ruin his kids.


End file.
